Monday, April 14, 2014

Don't tell me I'm not fat

I had trepidations about starting a blog about my experiences as a fatty, because I am "only" a size 14.  Then I decided that was bull shit.  I'm fat.  I experience life as a fat woman and if I want to write about that, I will.

I wear plus sized clothes.
Trying to trim my pubes is a struggle because I have to hold in my gut with my arm and attempt to peer around it.
People get huffy when I sit next to them on public transit.
I've gotten side-eye from food delivery people.
People have laughed when I've needed to run to catch a bus.
I was hospitalized for mental health issues and was asked if I wanted information about weight loss.
My family assumes I want to lose weight.

I have more examples of my experiences as a fat person, but they don't matter.  What matters is that I identify as a fat person.  And being able to fit into an XXL at a straight sized store doesn't cancel out my experiences as a fat person.  It certainly gives me an amount of privilege, but it doesn't magically erase my big fat ass.  I identify as a fat person.

According to my BMI I am obese.  But, again, my BMI and dress size and measurements don't qualify me to be called a fat person.  My identity does.  Being smaller than other fat people doesn't make my experiences and opinions less valid, it makes them different.  If I gain weight my experiences and opinions might change, but I won't disown my previous thoughts and feelings.  I'm fat.  Can I say it again?  I'm fat.  Don't tell me I'm not; you don't decide my identity.

For more thoughts on the diversity of sizes among fatties, check out this article and these blog posts:

Sometimes I Feel Like a Circus Fat Lady but That Doesn't Mean You Aren't Fat Too

Small Fatties, Acceptable Fatties and More

Why My Fat is Different From Your Fat: Some Thoughts on Thin Privilege at Different Sizes

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