Wednesday, December 31, 2014

OOTD

OOTD


This coat gives me life.  LIFE I TELL YOU!  It's the first coat I've ever found with a hood big enough  to stay up over my hair.  With all other hoods I've had to stuff my hair in, which inevitably led to the hood being rejected by my spring loaded curls.  Bonus: with the hood up I look like a jedi.  I don't even like Star Wars and I think that's awesome.  I bought it at Alloy.com and of course then found it for like ten bucks cheaper on Modcloth.  Cue sad trombone.  I got it in an XXL.  Perfect movement through the shoulders, a little tight on the top button over the boobies but not enough to look ridiculous.  The buttons are fucking hideous, but that's fixable for not a lot of money.  The material is great; warm without making the coat bulky, and very pretty.
Tee shirt is also from Modcloth.  I bought an XXL.  The neck is lower than I thought it would be, which I actually like.  I bought it with a coupon, because I can't bring myself to spend $30 on a tee shirt that isn't fair trade.  I mean, come on now.

Click the photo for links to items shown.

I am 5'5 and 210 pounds.  I wear a 40D bra.

Sunday, December 28, 2014

OOTD

OOTD

First off, don't buy this shirt from Modcloth, get it at Out of Print.  It's cheaper, and for every product bought the company donates a book to a community in need.  Booya!  I bought it in an XXL (the biggest size they offer), and I stuff myself into it and will have to remember to hand wash it.  It shows a sweet amount of boob, and shows my belly but I'm learning to love my gut.
The jacket is from American Eagle, and again I bought it in an XXL, again the largest size available.  The arms are big enough for mobility, and I could zipper it if I really wanted to and was wearing a thin shirt under it, but in the interest of breathing I wear it open.  I bought it to be a coat, and it's actually thin sweatshirt material, but that works well because I can keep it on indoors.
The shoes also came from American Eagle, but they no longer sell them; these are exactly the same.

Cats and kittens, you know the drill: click on the picture for links to the items shown.

For reference, I am 5'5, 210 lbs, and wear a 40D bra.

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Quote of the day

"Once we begin to celebrate what our body does rather than obsessing on how it looks, we start to appreciate our body as an instrument rather than an ornament."
-Ashley Turner

Thursday, August 7, 2014

OOTD

Untitled #16


Shirt- American Eagle XXL
click on photo for links to items shown

I am 5'6 and 210lbs, 40D bra

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

OOTD

Untitled #15

Keepin it super simple today, and rocking out my favorite color- gray.  (Rhyming means whatever I say is important, didn't you know?)
Dress- Asos Curve, size 14

I am 5'6 and 210lbs, size 40D bra

Click the photo for shopping details

Monday, August 4, 2014

Fat girl getting some love (also, first picture of me!)


My lovely man, Boyo, and his mother let me tag along with them to Longwood Gardens today and we all had a blast.  
Here is me and Boyo (and more importantly my fabulous purse) on a bridge in the newly planted meadow.  
Proof that fat girls get loved on by hot boys, boom!

Friday, July 18, 2014

OOTD

Untitled #14

This dress is my new favorite thing after used book stores.  It's remarkably true to size and since it's jersey it's like wearing a tee shirt.  I've had it on for two days and while it's covered in cat hair it's held up and still looks lovely.

For links to items shown, click the photo.

dress- Asos, size 14

I am 5'6 and 210lbs, size 40D bra

Thursday, July 10, 2014

OOTD

Untitled #13





First off, my dress is this but black and white instead of blue and white, and being a 40D bra size means my tits hang out to the sun and back.  The reviews for this dress say that it runs large, but as a size 14 the XL fit me perfectly.  Unfortunately it only come in up to an XXL, but it does have a good amount of stretch.  The straps aren't quite wide enough to cover my bra straps, but no fucks are given.

You know the drill: click the photo to get links to the items shown.


Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Try. I promise it gets easier.




How not to treat a person with a mental illness

I have Bipolar Disorder, which is classified as a serious mental illness (SMI).  I recently read an article explaining why people with SMI have shorter life expectancies than healthy people.  According to this article, SMI can take more years off of a person's life than smoking.  I posted the article to my Facebook page with the note, "So basically I'm doomed," because I'm a smoker with SMI.

My friend of ten years, who is also a nurse(!), commented on my post, "Well at least it doesn't make you live longer."

This is an example of something not to say to someone with a mental illness, or any sickness really.

Have I been suicidal?  Yes.  Have I attempted suicide?  Yes.  Do I think that people with illnesses have the right to a dignified and painless death?  Absolutely.  Do I think that people with illnesses that cause pain, physical or mental, are glad about their shortened life spans?  Hell no.  We don't want shorter lives, we want to be healthy.  And when the pain gets to be too much we don't hope and pray for shorter lives, we hope and pray to die.  Thinking that we'd be grateful that we get to live shorter lives of desperation is insulting and incredibly stupid.

After I deleted my friend's comment I told her that it was "extremely hurtful and offensive."

And she tried to explain it away.  She didn't mean this, she meant that.  I give her credit for actually apologizing, but her trying to explain away the disgusting thing she said makes me think she doesn't actually understand why I'm so infuriated and upset.  Her explanation backs up my assumption.  The more she explained the more she just reiterated the ideas behind her original comment.  Apparently, according to her, people with SMI live painful lives and she thought we'd be glad that our illnesses don't prolong our lives because that would be more time living in pain.  I can understand thinking this for maybe a few seconds, or if you don't know anyone with SMI and you're trying to be sympathetic. But this woman (this nurse!) has know me for ten years.  She saved my life last year by telling my parents that I needed to be hospitalized for suicidal ideation.  She's also seen me since I've found an amazing doctor and medication that works really well.  I can function as a healthy person for the most part, and since she sees me several times a week she has the evidence of that.  But she thinks I should be glad that my life expectancy is 9-20 years shorter than a woman without Bipolar?  That's bull shit. That's bull shit and it's fucked up.  That's how not to treat a person with mental illness.

I let about a week go by so I could simmer down before I brought it up again.  I didn't want her interrupting me with explanations so I sent her an email; basically the paragraph above.  This time around went much better.  I feel good about her apology and I forgive her.  Hopefully someone reads this and thinks about SMI in a new way and will treat people with compassion and respect, so that something good can come from a crappy moment in my friendship.

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Here's a thought...

OOTD

Untitled #12


Feeling super cute today.  Just got this blazer on clearance at Target and love it.  It's ponte, which is basically sweatshirt material, so I get to be really comfortable while looking nice.
Click the photo for links to the items shown.

I am 5'6 and 200lbs.

blazer- Target (up to XXL)
jeans- Old Navy, The Sweetheart (up to 30)
sneakers- Zappos.com

Monday, April 21, 2014

In all seriousness...





OOTD

OOTD


First let me say that I don't do fringe on shoes.  My moccasins don't have fringe and therefore are, indisputably, better than the ones shown.  (Mine are by Reef and are super comfy.  You can maybe buy a half size smaller than usual.)
I'm doing nothing today but thrifting and studying.  When I plan to thrift I like to dress for my mission.  In this case that means a shirt that I can get on and off without messing up my kinky curls, shoes that slip on and off, and minimal jewelry to prevent snagging.  These jeans are a little tight for taking on and off, but they make my ass look awesome so I compromised.
Click on the photo to get links to the items show, you know the drill.

I am 5'6 and 200lbs.

jeans- Old Navy, The Sweetheart (up to 30)
shirt- thrifted
tote- made my moi

Saturday, April 19, 2014

It takes time





#plussizeplease


How often have you been shopping and you come across something that is just PERFECT, but does not go up to your size? Over 60% of American women wear a size 14 or above, but only 17% of clothing sold is 14 & up. That is a ridiculous disparity.
Moreover, when some brands move into plus (ahem H&M), they throw their signature trendy looks by the wayside in favor of flowy dark fabrics that they think “work” for plus sizes. That is crap. Plus size women want color, print, and structure. Moreover, we want variety. A group this numerous cannot be a monolith, and since style is such a personal thing, we all have different tastes. I want #plussizeplease to be a way to showcase the demand for styles we’d buy and rock, and all the money brands are forfeiting by refusing to expand their sizes.
So here’s how to use it:
1) Snap a picture of a garment you love but does not come in your size. Include the brand and price, tagging the company if possible. For example, I am in love with this Zara marble print dress. I would have purchased it yesterday if it went above a size L. My tweet would be:
“.@Zara marble print sheath, $59. I’d buy it right now if it came in my size. #plussizeplease”
2) Use it on any social media – Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, Pinterest… even Facebook supports hashtags now.
3) Tag anything you’d purchase, whether in store or online.
4) Feel free to include the size range it comes in and/or the size you think you’d need. Sizing can be tricky, so this is definitely not required.
5) Tell your friends! I don’t just want this to be a blogger thing – I want all women who wear size 14 and up to show their purchasing power and share styles they love. Let’s be unignorable!

Friday, April 18, 2014

Forced unpaid leave because of pregnancy

Pier 1 has an illegal policy on its books--pregnant workers are given 8 weeks of light duty and then forced to take unpaid leave, whether they want to or not.

Read more and sign the petition telling Pier 1 to abandon its policy here.

Lingering insecurities

I love my body.  Seriously.  I caught a glimpse of myself naked in a mirror a few days ago and was turned on.  So why can't I believe that the man I sleep with finds me sexy?

Boy-o (so obviously not his real name) used to tell me I was sexy quite often.  And it bothered the hell out of me.  Eventually I asked him to stop, in what is probably the saddest speech of my life-
"The more you tell me I'm hot the more I feel like you're trying to convince yourself that I'm fuckable.  Or convince me.  But either way please stop."  Cue sad trumpet.

He assured me that he finds me incredibly attractive, and I believed him (sort of).  My distrust wasn't without precedent: I don't like men who frequently tell me they love me, because I feel like they're trying to compensate for not actually loving me.  (I know, I know, I have trust issues.)

I think I'm hot.  I find other fatties hot.  I believe other people when they say they find other fatties hot.  So maybe my problem isn't that I don't think I'm attractive to others because I'm fat, it's that I don't think I'm attractive to others.  I don't know.  I'm not good at introspection.  Maybe I'm just not gracious enough to accept a compliment?

I love my body.  Seriously.  I caught a glimpse of myself naked in a mirror a few days ago and was turned on.  So why can't I believe that the man I sleep with finds me sexy?

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Solitary confinement despite overturned conviction

Albert Woodfox's conviction was overturned more than a year ago but the Louisiana authorities have kept him in solitary confinement in a cell the size of a parking space. This is where he has been for the last 4 decades.



Read more and sign here.

OOTD

Untitled #10

Today I had class and then went to dinner alone.  This blazer is amaze-balls (yeah, I just said that).  The material is ponte which is pretty much sweatshirt material so it's crazy comfortable but I still look nice.  I (just barely) fit in the XXL, but it's available in plus size!  It was warm enough today to wear just a lacy camisole underneath my blazer, I got mine on clearance at Target.  I found earrings almost just like these on eBay; I did a search for "druzy earrings".  I love the raw quality of the stones, and they have a little sparkle.  My shoes are similar to these but mine are from H&M a few seasons ago.  My bag is like this one (but even cuter), it's from Dress Barn, in store only.  I take a 14 in jeans but in Old Navy, which these are, I have to size down because they stretch out so much.
Per the usual, click on the photo to get links to the items shown.

I am 5'6 and 200lbs

blazer- Target (up to 4x)
jeans- Old Navy (up to 30)

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

OOTD

Untitled #9


Nothin to do today but go to the movies.  My jeans are American Eagle via Good Will; I'm glad I got them cheap because they stretch out at least one size during the day.  Wore a gray scarf as a head band. That's about it!
As always, click the photo to get links to the items shown.

I am 5'6 and 200lbs

jeans- American Eagle Outfitters (up to 18, I recommend getting a smaller size than usual)
sweater- Gap (up to XXL)
similar purse- Dress Barn (in stores only)
sneakers- Rocket Dog, via Zappos.com

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

OOTD

Untitled #8

Skipped class today to go shopping with my friend, Kit.  I bought a purse like this at Dress Barn (they show it on the website but don't have a link to it, bull).  My shirt is Old Navy via Good Will, it's a large which fits okay in the arms but will not come close to closing.  (My gut hung out in all its glory and the world did not end!  There was no hysteria, no car crashes.  Life went on.  )  My jeans are Old Navy; I usually wear a 14 but Old navy jeans stretch out so I take a 12L.  My pendant is from Ebay, the one shown is on Etsy.  My flats are similar to these.
As always, click the picture to get links for the items shown.

I am 5'6 and 200lbs.

Jeans- Old Navy (up to 30)
Tank- Old Navy (up to 4x)



Monday, April 14, 2014

OOTD

Untitled #6


Super boring today, which I have no problem with because I still feel cute.  My jeans are American Eagle via Good Will.  I'm glad I got them for $5 because their low spandex content means they stretch out after about half an hour of wear.  My shirt is Old Navy, also via Good Will, a men's size large.  It doesn't quite close over my tits but I'm not going any where today so I can live with this.  I have five piercings in each ear but don't usually wear earrings because I'm too lazy (ain't that sad?).  I've been cleaning my bathroom and bedroom and found my silver hoops and pyramid studs, so I thought I'd take them out for a spin even though no one will see them but my cat.

I am 5'6 and 200lbs

Jeans- American Eagle Outfitters (up to 18 but run one size big)

Don't tell me I'm not fat

I had trepidations about starting a blog about my experiences as a fatty, because I am "only" a size 14.  Then I decided that was bull shit.  I'm fat.  I experience life as a fat woman and if I want to write about that, I will.

I wear plus sized clothes.
Trying to trim my pubes is a struggle because I have to hold in my gut with my arm and attempt to peer around it.
People get huffy when I sit next to them on public transit.
I've gotten side-eye from food delivery people.
People have laughed when I've needed to run to catch a bus.
I was hospitalized for mental health issues and was asked if I wanted information about weight loss.
My family assumes I want to lose weight.

I have more examples of my experiences as a fat person, but they don't matter.  What matters is that I identify as a fat person.  And being able to fit into an XXL at a straight sized store doesn't cancel out my experiences as a fat person.  It certainly gives me an amount of privilege, but it doesn't magically erase my big fat ass.  I identify as a fat person.

According to my BMI I am obese.  But, again, my BMI and dress size and measurements don't qualify me to be called a fat person.  My identity does.  Being smaller than other fat people doesn't make my experiences and opinions less valid, it makes them different.  If I gain weight my experiences and opinions might change, but I won't disown my previous thoughts and feelings.  I'm fat.  Can I say it again?  I'm fat.  Don't tell me I'm not; you don't decide my identity.

For more thoughts on the diversity of sizes among fatties, check out this article and these blog posts:

Sometimes I Feel Like a Circus Fat Lady but That Doesn't Mean You Aren't Fat Too

Small Fatties, Acceptable Fatties and More

Why My Fat is Different From Your Fat: Some Thoughts on Thin Privilege at Different Sizes

I'm lucky to have friends like this


Sunday, April 13, 2014

OOTD

Untitled #5



When I deviate from my usual black & gray it's to add a deep plum like this tank top.  My necklace is a druzy pendant and gold chain (I got the pendant on Ebay, the one shown is from Etsy.)  My shoes are a gray wingtip flat from Delias a few years ago.  My clutch is an ancient alligator portfolio that was my great-grandmothers.
Click the photo for links to shown items.

I am 5'6 and 200lbs

tank- Gap (up to XXL, v stretchy so I can wear a L or XL)
jeans (similar to shown)- Lane Bryant (up to 28)
cardigan- Gap (up to XXL)

Attention Philadelphia Folks!

Shade: A Panel Discussion of Race and Feminism
Wednesday 16 April at 7:00pm

"Black Feminism and Intersectionality"

This article explores what "intersectionality" is and why it is necessary in the context of feminism.  For the purposes of this article, intersectionality requires that when speaking of social ills through a feminist lens we also consider race and class.  Without a discussion of intersectionality, we can only explore the experiences of women in a limited and exclusionary way; what immediately comes to my mind is the Twitter hashtag "feminism is for white women."  This article should be a required read in Women's Studies classes and for anyone who subscribes to feminism.

Tl;dr

"Black legal scholar Kimberlé Crenshaw coined the term 'intersectionality' in her insightful 1989 essay, Demarginalizing the Intersection of Race and Sex: A Black Feminist Critique of Antidiscrimination Doctrine, Feminist Theory and Antiracist Politics. The concept of intersectionality is not an abstract notion but a description of the way multiple oppressions are experienced." 
"[Crenshaw] argues that Black women are frequently absent from analyses of either gender oppression or racism, since the former focuses primarily on the experiences of white women and the latter on Black men.  She seeks to challenge both feminist and antiracist theory and practice that neglect to 'accurately reflect the interaction of race and gender,' arguing that 'because the intersectional experience is greater than the sum of racism and sexism, any analysis that does not take intersectionality into account cannot sufficiently address the particular manner in which Black women are subordinated.'"
"Because of the historic role of slavery and racial segregation in the United States, the development of a unified women’s movement requires recognizing the manifold implications of this continuing racial divide. While all women are oppressed as women, no movement can claim to speak for all women unless it speaks for women who also face the consequences of racism—which place women of color disproportionately in the ranks of the working class and the poor. Race and class therefore must be central to the project of women’s liberation if it is to be meaningful to those women who are most oppressed by the system."

No jail time for admitted sexual predator

Robert Richards IV admitted to, and was convicted of, raping his 3-year-old daughter and sexually abusing his 19-month-old son.  Richards is an heir to the DuPont fortune and because of his affluence his judge decided that he "wouldn't fare well" in prison, so this violent man was sentenced only to probation.

Sign this petition to tell the Delaware Judicial Conduct Commission- "A judge who gives preferential treatment to wealthy abusers should not be on the bench.  Remove Judge Jan Jurden immediately."


Saturday, April 12, 2014

"Rape Culture is Real"



Read the article here. Another great article is this one, Rape Culture is When...

Finally, see this, which looks at a study that finds that girls view sexual violence as normal.


Tl;dr (first linked article)"Last week, in an essay, Caroline Kitchens wrote that rape culture as a theory over-hyped by 'hysterical' feminists. Emboldened by a disappointing and out of touch statement by the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN), Kitchens writes, 'Recently, rape-culture theory has migrated from the lonely corners of the feminist blogosphere into the mainstream. In January, the White House asserted that we need to combat campus rape by ‘[changing] a culture of passivity and tolerance in this country, which too often allows this type of violence to persist…’ Tolerance for rape? Rape is a horrific crime, and rapists are despised.'"

"'If so many millions of women were getting carjacked or kidnapped, we’d call it a public crisis. That we accept [rape] as normal, even inevitable, is all the evidence I need,' Jacyln Friedman, author Yes Means Yes: Visions of Female Sexual Power and A World Without Rape told me, in response to Kitchens’ piece. 'If we already despise rapists, why are they so rarely held accountable in any way?,' Friedman asks. An analysis by RAINN found that 97% of rapists never spend a single day in jail for their crimes. 'What we really despise is the idea of rapists: a terrifying monster lurking in the bushes, waiting to pounce on an innocent girl as she walks by,' Friedman says. 'But actual rapists, men who are usually known to (and often loved by) their victims? Men who are sometimes our sports heroes, political leaders, buddies, boyfriends and fathers? Evidence suggests we don’t despise them nearly as much as we should.'"


Tl;dr (second linked article)

" The rape culture frame has helped me explain feminist ideas about sexual assault to lots of non-feminist types over the years. For instance, the entire social expectation that women are supposed to reluctantly “give” sex to men who aggressively demand it is a big facet of rape culture. I always note that norms like that one encourage all sorts of bad phenomena beyond assault, like the sexualization of younger women, the damaging myth that men can’t be rape victims, and even false rape accusations (which remain rare). 
"

OOTD

Untitled #4


If I was doing anything but cleaning today, this is what I'd be wearing.  As it is I am grungy and covered in Pinesol.
I love my gray, leopard print sweatshirt; mine has short sleeves and came from the Gap last summer.  I wear a darker gray tank under it because the shirt is a little short on me; I can wear a L or XL in the tank.  My jean jacket is a few years old, from Old Navy, and I definitely need to upsize to an XL as my current one cuts off circulation in my arms and doesn't come close to closing.  However, it looks cute with this outfit and since I'm not actually wearing it fit doesn't matter, now does it?
Click the photo for links to shown items.

I am 5'6 and 200lbs

tank top- The Gap (up to XXL)
jeans- Old Navy, The Sweetheart (up to 30)
jean jacket- Old Navy (up to 4X)
sneakers- Rocket Dog, Amaya, available on Zappos.com and Amazon.com

Friday, April 11, 2014

OOTD






Untitled #4


I'm wearing something just like this today.  The tank doesn't have the mint green edging, don't know why it's shown like that.  It's very comfortable but I should have sized down- the neck shifts as I walk and then suddenly my right tit is hanging out (I bought an XL).  I made my own canvas tote bag but this one is so cute I might use it as inspiration for a new one.  I'm wearing trouser jeans from Lane Bryant.  I love them so much that I bought two sizes, 14 and 16, so I can wear them fitted or baggy.  My shoes have perforated detail but are at least a year old, from H&M, so they're no longer available.  I'm using a red scarf as a head band and added some gold jewelry for a little shine.

I am 5'6 and 200lbs
Tank- Old Navy Active (up to 4X)
Trouser jeans (similar to shown)- Lane Bryant (up to 28)
Cardigan- Old Navy (up to XXL)

Thursday, April 10, 2014

OOTD

Untitled #3
I'm wearing something very similar to this today; just going to class and out to dinner alone.  My cardigan is much cuter than this weird washed out purple: I bought the bright red and soaked it in black die so now it's a deep plum.  The cardigan is unisex so you want to try it on before buying to make sure of the size.  (Mine is an XS/S but I've had it for years and it's stretched out as I've gotten fat so don't go by my size.)  I found these shoes at Good Will but they are available at Lane Bryant and on Amazon.  They are probably the lowest quality shoe you will ever touch but they manage to be comfortable during a day of walking.*  My camisole is similar to this one but I got mine at Good Will.  My earrings are a handmade gift but these silver feathers have the same vibe.  I'm adding a chunky turquoise ring to top things off.
I usually wear a 14 in jeans but in Old Navy I take a 12L because they are so stretchy.
I am 5'6 and 200lbs.

t shirt- The Gap (XL) (up to XXL but runs roomy)
cardigan- American Apparel (unisex so sizes fit a little larger than women's sizes)
flats- Lane Bryant or Amazon

*The same shoe but in real leather is available at Sole Society




Wednesday, April 9, 2014

"Do You Care About My Health, or Just Think I’m Gross? Be Honest."

This is a great article about fat-acceptance and concern-trolling.

Read it here.

Tl;dr

"Here’s the thing, though: fat people have a right to exist, no matter what their health status is, and their health status is both not your business and not evidence to be used when determining whether they should be found wanting. Fatness is just a characteristic, one with which many people have a complex relationship because it’s socially loaded. Your judgement about fat has not been requested, nor is it required."


OOTD

Today I wore something similar to this to my Spanish class and then out with a friend to dinner.  My cardigan has 3/4 sleeves and pockets and my shoes are by Reef.  My necklace is actually a dinosaur skull but Polyvore is lame and doesn’t have one on file.  A pretty boring outfit but I felt more put-together than I do in my usual baggy hoodie.
I usually wear a size 14 in jeans but Old Navy jeans are so stretchy that I take a 12 long.
I am 5’6 and 200lbs.
T shirt, The Gap, XL (up to size XXL but run a little roomy)
Cardigan, The Gap, L (up to size XXL)
Jeans, Old Navy The Sweetheart, 12L (up to size 30, I suggest buying a size smaller than usual)
similar shoes, Reef

"Study Shows You Can’t Hate Fatties for Our Own Good"

"Fat people have the right to exist in fat bodies regardless of how we got fat, what being fat means, or if we could be thin through some means – however easy or difficult. There are no other valid opinions on this – we have the right to exist without shaming, bullying or stigmatization, period."

Read more 
here.