I love my body. Seriously. I caught a glimpse of myself naked in a mirror a few days ago and was turned on. So why can't I believe that the man I sleep with finds me sexy?
Boy-o (so obviously not his real name) used to tell me I was sexy quite often. And it bothered the hell out of me. Eventually I asked him to stop, in what is probably the saddest speech of my life-
"The more you tell me I'm hot the more I feel like you're trying to convince yourself that I'm fuckable. Or convince me. But either way please stop." Cue sad trumpet.
He assured me that he finds me incredibly attractive, and I believed him (sort of). My distrust wasn't without precedent: I don't like men who frequently tell me they love me, because I feel like they're trying to compensate for not actually loving me. (I know, I know, I have trust issues.)
I think I'm hot. I find other fatties hot. I believe other people when they say they find other fatties hot. So maybe my problem isn't that I don't think I'm attractive to others because I'm fat, it's that I don't think I'm attractive to others. I don't know. I'm not good at introspection. Maybe I'm just not gracious enough to accept a compliment?
I love my body. Seriously. I caught a glimpse of myself naked in a mirror a few days ago and was turned on. So why can't I believe that the man I sleep with finds me sexy?
This just recently has been an issue of mine as well. I'm used to keeping a shirt on or trying to have guys fuck me in skirts. Anything to limit the amount of me that shows. But recently I have been seeing a guy who likes my body. Finds me desirable. Wants me naked all the time.. even just sleeping. He even said to me " if u feel insecure that's ok but I want you to know that your body turns me on." Its weird being the only person who doesn't like my body in the room. Ha it was truly refreshing though.
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